+15 votes
in Suggestion by (1.8k points)
edited by

Ever driven over one of them commuting local wildlife representative, by sheer accident?

Ever wondered, oh my! is it wounded? they go all ragdoll and roll some but then, after a little while, stand up again and carry on commuting like nothing ever happened.

Me, personally, it makes me a little upset. I once disembarked my favorite big truck to go assist the poor bushy tails hogsie, only to get attacked viciously. I know I was filled with shame and remorse to have caused this accident in the first place but then, after this animal retribution, I went back on my favorite big truck and carried on my business efficiently.

Today, while on discord, there was a discussion about this precise issue with @Vegetable#0921 and @JWoodrell#2885. I then realised I was not the only distracted driver employed by FICSIT.

We ended up discussing how trucks are not credible machines when it comes to harvest road kills (read carapaces). this was when JWoodrell came up with the idea to "ductape xenozappers to my bumper... can FICSIT download a duct tape blueprint to my hub?" to which I replied "hmmm, good idea a XenoBumper..." as it seems it would be the best way to raise the road kill efficiency significantly and reduce the fuel and berry consumption to accomplish the same result since, it appears, speed is not a coefficient in collision damage as of yet and that it requires a lot of berries to heal a good Samaritan who would like to provide assistance to said fluffy road collision victims.


by (390 points)
If not the fluffy tailed hog, then at least the giraffe.
by (1.8k points)
edited by
Poor poor Giraffe, Please don't hurt the giant testicle-giraffes
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